Breaking news! Christmas is racist, sexist, hate-filled, and offensive.

Calling all Grinches, Scrooges and social justice warriors, this one is for you.

Do you hear what I hear? If you mean a whole lot of nonsense, then yes, you are certainly hearing the same noise. Wait! Ban that song because someone just got offended. Don’t you dare rock around the Christmas tree and definitely do not wish anyone a Merry Christmas! If you were feeling holly jolly, then quickly stop because the most wonderful time of the year is not the o so holy night it once claimed to be. ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside.’ Yes, I just called you baby. Are you dreaming of a white Christmas? Oops, don’t talk about race. Wait, snow is racist? ‘Silent night, Holy night.’ Nope, don’t touch that one. Newsflash! ‘Little Town of Bethlehem’ is a scary place. Fa-la-la-la because there is more!

christmas

The attacks on Christmas have spread all across the country (Adobe Stock)

A Virginia school banned Jesus. Did you know that Jesus is offensive? The Robious Middle School in Virginia banned Christmas carols that mention Jesus. Newsmax reports that, “the decision had been made to “avoid singing anything of a direct sacred nature” in order to be “more sensitive to the increasing diverse population at the school.” Doesn’t banning these songs offend an entire population of people? What they are actually saying is that if you believe in Jesus, you should sit by and be offended because other’s opinions and beliefs are more important than yours. So much for diversity.

A Cleveland, Ohio radio station has banned ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ because it is predatory. “People might say, ‘Oh, enough with that #MeToo,’ but if you really put that aside and read the lyrics, it’s not something that I would want my daughter to be in that kind of a situation,” midday host Desiray told CNN affiliate WJW-TV.Let’s take a moment here and return to the land of non-PC. In case you forgot, Christmas = Christ. See how the word Christmas is spelled: C-H-R-I-S-T. For those who celebrate Christmas, Christ is the entire point. Why should we stop celebrating? The agenda-pushers and the upset people of the world need to stop this behavior, it’s offensive. Yes, it goes both ways!

Did you know that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer was filled with bullying, racist, and homophobic references? Who knew reindeer could be so cruel? Stop that Little Drummer Boy, too. Isn’t he sexist? Who knows what his intentions were. It’s surprising that the song ‘Santa Baby’ hasn’t been banned due to its sexism and greed. ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ isn’t being shunned for its inappropriateness for children? Why not? It might trigger some sort of shock. What about Frosty the Snowman? Is snow masculine?

christmas

The Huffington Post published an article on how toxic Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is. (Wikimedia)

Perhaps we should ban Christmas trees and mistletoe? These two emblems of Christmas are probably the next to go. Cutting down trees ruins the environment and mistletoe is offensive because who knows what could go wrong there. Stand under that sprig of poison and well, you can guess the rest. While you’re at, ban wreaths. Christmas lights? Those drain energy and are divided into white lights and colored lights. Racist much? If you happen to put up decorations of any type, kindly remove those as well.

Christmas cookies! Shhh…don’t even go there. The colors of sprinkles and frosting and maybe biting a snowman or Santa Claus cookie just might be the end of civilization as we know it. Gingerbread men. Let’s talk about this. Aren’t they sexist too? Gingerbread has a gender? Probably. The Grinch, Ebenezer Scrooge and George Bailey are all demonic men trying to impose their authority and toxic masculinity on us. Take them away, too!

Here’s the point. This has all gone too far. Rock bottom is where we are this Christmas. When you can no longer sing a Christmas tune out loud that is meant to bring joy and fun without someone getting angry and offended, then you know things have hit a new low. Christmas, a time of celebration and glad tidings, is now a time of political correctness gone bad. Whether you celebrate the holiday or not, it is absurd to seek criminal behavior in songs and movies that are good natured. Leave your political agenda out of Christmas and let those who celebrate have their holly jolly holiday.

Merry Christmas, darling! Go ring your silver bells and if you have snow, go take a sleigh ride. Sing your songs loud and proud and break out that Christmas tree, wreath and mistletoe. Keep Christ in Christmas and wish all you see a very merry and blessed Christmas and don’t forget to count your blessings. Eat, drink and be merry and enjoy that gingerbread man, because it truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

Lauren E. Forcucci, Ph.D. is an educator, writer, and proud American. She is the daughter of an immigrant, the granddaughter of a veteran, and a friend and supporter of active-duty military, veterans, and police.  She’s also a proud Whiskey Patriot.